Your Ego Is A Bad Portfolio Manager
Your brain and ego are incredible at measuring your self-worth.
There will always be a measuring stick for your self-worth. (Unless you’ve figured out enlightenment, and in the unlikely scenario you have, stop reading and email me here ASAP to catch me up.)
As life progresses this measuring stick changes. At one point it may be grades, how many friends you have, number of followers, what you’re eating for lunch, the clothes you wear, or the school you go to. Usually, this is determined by what you at that time value or what your ego tells you is important.
My “happiness & success” measuring stick in Grade 8 was my win-loss record on FIFA (I was like 58-12-10. Unmatched.) and by senior year it was grades, extracurriculars and schools I was accepted to. Then it became money, freedom, creative work and so much more. (And who knows what next! Maybe, I’ll finally become a professional soccer player.)
You’re always playing this game that tells you if you’re good enough or not.
Sometimes, when you’re meeting your “measuring stick” - good job, good partner, decent life - you float in one spot. That’s fine if you want that - but you have to know whether you truly want it.
Your “measuring stick” for areas of your life usually determines where you spend your focus. And your focus and time is an investment. You have to pick your “measuring stick” carefully - or you end up over-invested in one area and under invested in other areas of life. (Don’t be the guy investing 90% of his portfolio in the Hawk Tuah meme coin and sit there wondering where the rest of the returns went.)
It's frighteningly easy to develop pessimistic blinders, work on the wrong things and lose sight of the incredible blessings and achievements in our lives.
This is common when a single identity, for example, job title and function-leads you to measure self-worth using one or two metrics (like income, promotions, body fat percentage, usually in comparison to others) dependent on some variables outside of your control.
Recalibrate your perspective, and prevent over-investment of ego in one area of life.
Treat your desires & self-worth-measuring-sticks like an investment portfolio for where your focus will go. Review your desires and see if they actually matter and are getting you returns in your life. Just like you would your investments.
In my experience, taking a few minutes to define what I want made me realize I’ve wasted months on the wrong things. (This usually leads to head bashing against a desk or hard surface. With a helmet for safety, of course.)
Your ego isn’t a good portfolio manager for your desires. You’re probably better.
- Arry Pandher
(And no, you probably don’t have “no desires”. Then you might desire wanting to have no desires.
And is that actually what you want?)
